Reproductive Loss
Reproductive Loss
It is rarely on anyone’s radar that they may experience loss related to pregnancy and childbirth. When this loss happens, it is a traumatic crisis that causes tremendous feelings of grief. But we live in a society that struggles with issues of grief, and even more so when it is related to pregnancy and childbirth. This can mean a strong feeling of distress and a lack of support or even feelings of isolation after the loss of a pregnancy or a stillbirth.
Mourning For LBGTQ+ Families
Reproductive loss does not discriminate, and the grief process is further complicated for LGBTQ+ families because of barriers to support, which include:
a culture that may not recognize the legitimacy of the pregnancy or the reproductive loss for LGBTQ+ persons,
the failure to identify the non-birthing person as grieving,
the lack of knowledge about how reproductive loss affects LGBTQ+ families,
discrimination or fear of discrimination by healthcare providers, friends and/or family,
pregnancy being associated in our culture with heterosexual, cisgender women, and
the fact that most supportive services for reproductive loss center on the heterosexual, cisgender person’s experience .
Infertility and Reproductive Loss
When infertility is a part of your reproductive experience, there are additional themes of loss. Struggling with infertility often brings loss of expectations regarding conceiving, birthing and parenting, as well as your view of yourself as a birthing individual. The trauma you may experience from challenging procedures and the unpredictable rollercoaster that is your ride during treatments make for a very challenging experience. The strain that this has on your relationship with your partner is unavoidable. These issues are important to discuss when you are working through reproductive loss.
When to Seek Professional Support
Author and Psychologist Amy Wenzel, Ph.D., described several warning signs that professional help may be indicated.
From Coping With Infertility, Miscarriage, and Neonatal Loss: Finding perspective and creating meaning (2014, pg 27-29).
Consider professional help when:
1) You are unable to get out of bed most of the day, most days, for sever weeks. Initial you may experience intense emotions that may result in inactivity and need for isolation. When this continues for several weeks and prevents you from the experiences that will eventually facilitate the grief process, you may consider seeking additional support.
2) Your emotional experiences, after several weeks, are interfering with your activities of daily living, caring for your family, or caring for yourself.
3) You have frequent flashbacks or nightmares about the loss or content similar to the loss. If these flashbacks are interfering with your emotional wellbeing or your daily functioning, then seeking professional support may be helpful.
4) Are you having any suicidal thoughts, or thoughts with an intent or plan to act on these thoughts. If this is the case, contact a mental health profession or physician immediately.
4) Are you engaging in self-destructive behavior like excessive alcohol or drug use, binging and purging, self cutting, excessive spending or other risky behaviors, consult with a mental health professional who will provide you with more adaptive skills for coping.
Reference
Wenzel, A. (2014).Coping With Infertility, Miscarriage, and Neonatal Loss: Finding perspective and creating meaning. American Psychological Association.